Maple tree

We met in the maple tree,

the day i set you free.

And in the same place,

I saw you had me replaced.

If only i had love you

the same way you want to,

Then maybe we can light up the fire

that our hearts used to desire.
Deep down inside my heart,

I regret that we grew apart.

Our love that i thought was never ending

Seems to have a terrible ending.

Nagspray ako ng pabango

Nagspray ako ng pabango sa pagaakalang mahuhumaling ka sa amoy ko ngunit di ganoon ang nangyari bagkus sinabihan mo akong ‘ano ba yang amoy mo ang baho!‘. At muli nabigo nanaman ako.

Nagspray ako ng pabango ngunit sa pagkakataong ito ibang pabango na ang ginamit ko at tiyak ko sa pagkakataong ito magugustuhan mo ang amoy ko ngunit isang pag aakala din pala ang lahat dahil sa huli hindi mo nanaman nagustuhan ang amoy ko. 

Ngayon magsspray sana uli ako ng pabango pero naisip ko kailan mo ba nagustuhan ang pabango ko? Kailan mo ba maiintindihan na ito’y para sayo? At kailan mo ba maiisip na ang simpleng pagsspray ko ng pabango ay ang paraan ko para iparating sayo ang nararamdaman ko? Kailan? 

Kape

Kaninang umaga nagtimpla ako ng kape. Habang iniinom ko yun, naiisip kita. Ang maganda mong mukha, mapupungay mong mata, matangos mong ilong at mamulamula mong labi.  Ang mahinhin mong galaw at ang matamis mong boses habang sinasabi ang salitang “mahal”. 

Sa bawat higop ko pulos alaala natin ang naaalala ko. Ang pagakyat natin sa puno ng mangga, at pamimitas ng bunga nito. Ang paghahabulan natin habang nagtatayatayan. Ang pagtataguan hanapan natin na naging paborito nating laro tuwing bakasayon at kapag wala tayong pasok sa eskwela dahil ang larong yon ang nagturo satin na sa huli babalik pa din tayo sa kanlungan ng isa’t isa. 

Sumimsim ako uli ang kape ko mula sa tasa. Napansin kong nangangalahati na ito at muli naisip kita. Ang mga panahong nagtatakbuhan tayo sa kapatagan habang umuulan. Ang sabay nating paghigop ng mainit na sabaw na luto ng nanay mo upang mawala ang nararamdaman nating lamig, lamig na ngayon ay naramdaman ko. Ang walang humpay nating papapalitan ng ngiti na di ko alam na mauuwi din pala sa isang bukas na walang pansinan. Hindi ko inaakalang kakalimutan mo lahat ang pinagsaluhan nating alaala ng nakaraan. Alaalang patuloy na bumubuhay sakin at pumapatay naman sayo. 

At sa huling patak ng kapeng iniinom ko, ikaw pa din ang nasa isip ko. At kung iisipin man ng iba na baliw ako, okey lang. Baliw na ata talaga ako sa paghiling ko na sana tulungan ako ng kapeng ininom ko na manatiling gising sa katotohanang ako na lang satin ang nagmamahal at nasasaktan, ang umaasa at humihiling na sana maulit muli ang lahat. 

letters of the broken souls

“I know you love me and that you never meant to hurt me”, said Anna. It was the first letter I got from the sea of misery. She thought that the man she loved dearly wouldn’t hurt her  but that was when the sun still rises every morning, when the wave flows the same way, and when the coffee still serves every morning. It was beyond her doubt that this time of her life would come. She didn’t know where she lacks at because she gave her everything to him. She gave up her hopes, dreams and even herself hoping that she could get the love she wanted. Now that her agony wasn’t able to subside she decided to end things. 

” I hope I could get you the best future I wish I had back then. I hope I could get you everything you deserved because that’s the only thing that I could offer”, said Belladona who died working for her daughter’s future. Died in the verge of hoping that someday and somehow she could give the future she wishes to have to her daughter. This is a letter from a mother who had failed to achieve her own dream and her own life because she give things up for something from above.A letter of regret and disappointment for oneself.

“I want to be with you. Why did you leave me?”, said Ingrid to her father who wanted to leave her for better things. She often feels being  the greatest mistake that her parents did. She had the best childhood with her parents but as she grows up she realized that those things were just all pretending. She didnt know that leaving her behind was that easy for the people she dedicated her life with.

” I miss my old self: the one who freely do her passion.”, Said Gerette who lost herself. The one who never thought would get tired of the things she used to love. She suddenly lost all her motivation while she was still in the process of pursuing her dreams. She became doubtful of her worth and as she had decided, she took her life away. 

And just like the letter i received from Anna, Ivan and Lily, all of them came from the souls who have been left and who have left. And from this moment , i still receive letters and i can still hear the sound of the cry of those broken-hearted souls.

In the midst of solitude

In the midst of solitude,

I found myself longing for you. 

That no matter how I stop myself,

I still miss you.

In the midst of solitude,

I found myself shattered into pieces 

Because i know,

I wouldn’t feel your kisses.

In the midst of solitude,

I found myself crying.

Because being without you

is the same as dying

Bato

‚ÄčIhahalintulad ko ang sarili ko sa bato. 

Isang bagay na akala ng lahat ay matigas at matibay na hindi inaasahan may malambot na parte din pala.

Isang bagay na siguro ay hindi matitinag kahit anong pagsubok man ang harapin. 

Sipain, apakan, ibato ng paulit ulit sa dulo    ang bato ay bato pa din matibay at hindi agad agad natitinag. 

Pero sinasabi ko sa sarili ko. Pinapaulit ulit ko ito. Hindi masisira ang bato kung hindi din dahil sa sarili niya. 

Hindi siya madudurog kung hindi nya hahayaan madurog siya. 

Hindi siya magpipira piraso kung hindi nya hahayaan ito. 

At katulad ko hindi ako magiging mahina kung hindi ko hahayaan ang sarili ko maging mahina.

At sa mga oras nato isang bagay lang ang tumatakbo sa isip ko:

Na kahit anong mangyari sa dulo ay ako pa din ang bahala sa sarili ko. Ako at ako pa din ang tutulong dito. Ako at ako pa din magisa. 

At nagtagpo tayo 

 

At nagtagpo tayo,

Tinanong mo ako ng ‘kumusta kana?

at sinagot kita ng ‘okay lang ako.

Ngunit sa likod ng isang okay lang ako,

libo libo namang gabi ang iniyak ko.

At muli nagsalita ka,

Sinabi mong ‘patawad sa lahat ng ginawa ko.

‘sanay na ako’, yan lang ang naging tugon ko.

Hindi ko alam kung maniniwala pa ako,

sa walang humpay na patawad mula sayo.

‘Patawad nasaktan kita,

patawad hindi ko sinasadya,

patawad akala ko ikaw pa,

At patawad dahil iniwan kita.’